A Personal Peak Experience
September 29th, 2024
Many years ago, early in my personal breathwork journey, my entire perspective on both conscious breathing and consciousness itself was transformed by a profound peak experience.
As I lay on a floormat, my facilitator sat by my side gently yet firmly supporting me to breathe deeply and vigorously. The approach was similar to *Grof’s Holotropic Breathwork, without the music.
I don’t recall the exact length of time—more or less an hour—but I remember the ebb and flow. Sometimes I would slow down, emotions would ripple to the surface, sometimes I felt muscle twinges. At times I felt tired and ready to stop. My sitter continued encouraging me to remain focused on my breathing. Her presence, combined with the strength of my curiosity kept me going. Through my previous breathing explorations I had learned to not fear or be distracted by my emotions, or to fear the sensations of **tetany—harmless muscle tightening that can occur during intense breathing (see below for a description).
Previously, when muscle tetany began I would make sound, move a bit, and slow my breath until the sensations faded.
Today, as tetany is progressively tightening my body, I start to feel concern. I check in with my sitter and hear her calm, melodical voice reassuring me to “keep going.” Keeping going is very familiar to me, motivated by my pattern of driving myself, as well as by my adventurous curiosity. So I keep going.
Then I panic. A terrifying realization flashes through me: if I become any more contracted I will be completely immobilized, unable to breathe. My lips are now so tight that I barely squeak out, “I can’t breathe!”
Through my panic I hear the coo: “Keep going.”
One more attempt to inhale. Suddenly, wondrously, my entire body and being releases effortlessly. Every bit of tension has simply melted away. I am weightless, floating within an infinite field of sky-blue space. No walls, no boundaries—just an expansive sense of freedom, internally and externally. In awe, I eventually ask my sitter, “Are my eyes open or closed?” I hear: “They are closed.” I continue to lie there in peaceful amazement.
As I try to describe this experience now it remains as vivid as it was those many years ago.
The rigid confine of my perspective on conscious breathing was forever dissolved. This was my beautiful initiation into a natural, expansive, non-ordinary state of consciousness, along with the recognition that this being possible for me means it is also possible for others.
I remain profoundly grateful for this gift which has sustained and supported me through the agonies and ecstasies of my lengthening life. And, it continues to fuel my passion for guiding and supporting others on their own journeys.
Join me for a related upcoming program…
Weaving the Threads of Consciousness: Integrating Psychedelic and Peak Experiences
Everyone has their unique relationship with, and way of accessing, altered states.
Weaving the Threads of Consciousness, November 7-10 at the Haven on Gabriola Island is about choosing the time, space, and support to explore and integrate the transformative potential of your own peak experiences.
Conscious Breathwork: A Training for Personal Mastery & Professional Skill Development
Would you like to learn breathwork techniques for your personal mastery or professional skill development?
Conscious Breathwork, November 22-24 at the Haven on Gabriola Island is an opportunity to build or practice the essential foundation of consciously breathing for embodiment, heightened awareness, and healing. This program will be supportive not only for your own wellbeing and self-care, it will offer grounding, regulating, life enhancing, liberating breathing practices and techniques that may be useful for helping professionals.
Whatever your reason, I’ll be delighted to shape and share this juicy body and soul nourishing weekend with you.
*Stanilov Grof, Holotropic Breathwork
Stanilov and his wife, Christinam developed Holotropic Breathwork, a psychotherapeutic procedure involving voluntary, prolonged, mindful, intensive breathing supported by music and elective bodywork.
Grof is one of the principal developers of transpersonal psychology and research into the use of non-ordinary states of consciousness for purposes of psychological healing, deep self-exploration, and obtaining growth and insights into the human psyche. He also constructed a theoretical framework regarding prenatal and perinatal psychology.
**Tetany
Sustained, intensive breathing shifts the body's pH balance, causing muscle contractions and sending signals to the limbic system, which controls emotions and instincts, sometimes resulting in powerful experiences similar to death and rebirth. Masters like Stanislav Grof, have found that this form of intentional breathwork can lead to profound therapeutic outcomes for many people.
